so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
