When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
