a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize