tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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