I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
