what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's blow job season.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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