Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
