Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
