lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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