i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
