All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
