he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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