Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
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My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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