he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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