I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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