when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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