do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize