dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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