hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
