Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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