Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
