I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
