More tranny stories later!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
