Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
