We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
