not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
