it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
