apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
