dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
