Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
