I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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