she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
