dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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