they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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