the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
