D3 body, D1 cock
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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