I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
