Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
