you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
