i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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