yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
