so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm like, not good at living.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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