He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
