are you so shy because you have an std?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
