Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
