awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
