you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
