Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
