yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
