I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
