I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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