I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
