Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
