Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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