I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
