You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
