guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
